how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize