at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
