Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
