My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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