Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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