I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Buhtt sex?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
