I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize