Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
