I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I fill condoms, not promises.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
