thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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