I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
