This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
