afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
