They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
