How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just threw up on my dentist
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Everclear isn't food dammit
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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