I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Alive.
So much puke
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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