glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
