We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize