i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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