I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
