Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
false alarm, still single
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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