dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Say something about gay babies.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
