hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
