Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
