We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
