We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
