from now on my penis is your penis
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize