Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
