I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
