swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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