not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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