Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
