I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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