I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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