i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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