i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The adults are the big ones right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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