He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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