It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
