oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
