I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
