I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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