Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
