Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
