If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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