We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
