Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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