I hate all girls vehemently.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize