dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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