Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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