We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize