I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
