go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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