Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
