first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
