upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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