how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
