Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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