no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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