Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
