32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
