So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
