ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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