Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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