Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
