those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
